The Stevens Piano Studio

TO QUIT OR NOT TO QUIT

How many adults do you know who either wish they had taken piano lessons or had not stopped those lessons?  In many years of teaching piano, I have rarely met any adult who was happy that he stopped studying piano.  But in teaching children, how many times do we hear, “Why do I have to take piano?” 

 

It is tempting to give in to constant complaining about lessons and practicing.  There are times not to discontinue lessons and times when lessons should be discontinued.

 

Here are some suggestions to help you if you face this question.  Many of these ideas are taken from Patrick Kavanaugh’s book “Raising Musical Kids” (available on Amazon.com):

 

Parents must lead the way.  Studying music will sometimes require hard work.  Children will sometimes refuse such hard work unless their parents require it.  Therefore, parents must insist on this hard work if music is to be effectually learned.  Of course, parents should always be sensitive to their child and his needs, but parents (and teachers) have the long view.  They understand the long-term benefits of studying music and must not abdicate their duty to guide their children in areas of education and special interest.

 

Parents must discriminate between good reasons and bad.  Negative reasons are never a good reason for discontinuing lessons.  Negative reasons usually center around the fact that all humans - particularly children – will complain about situations that don’t bring immediate gratification.  They want to quit because they’re tired of all the work, or they’re discouraged because of slow results, or they’re being hassled by their friends. But good reasons do exist.  One very good reason is if your child is strongly gifted in a specific area and it is necessary to concentrate on that area.  If Susie is great in track and field, then maybe she should re-direct her focus.  However, if your child’s reason is based on sheer laziness, a parent should always hang in  and continue the lessons.

 

The junior high years are the most challenging.  During these years, music lessons are often the unfortunate casualties to all the changes which these teenagers are experiencing.  Young people at this age are much more peer-related, social encounters with the opposite sex suddenly have new dimensions and all kinds of physical changes are taking place.  In addition, younger teenagers have a new argumentative nature.  They question and challenge everything.   Teachers can tailor lessons to fit this age group by asking for more input in selection of music, using more improvisation or emphasizing sight reading or composition. 

 

Music lessons should cease only after significant discussions with your child and thoughtful consideration on your part.

 

Don’t forget the teacher.  Most teachers truly want to do what is best for their students.  It is important to speak with your teacher about the situation and give what he says serious consideration.

 

·          It is possible to exit gracefully by ending at a customary stopping point such as the end of the semester.