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How many adults do you know who
either wish they had taken piano lessons or had not stopped those
lessons? In many years of teaching
piano, I have rarely met any adult who was happy that he stopped studying
piano. But in teaching children, how
many times do we hear, “Why do I have to take piano?” It is tempting to give in to constant
complaining about lessons and practicing.
There are times not to
discontinue lessons and times when lessons should be discontinued. Here are some suggestions to help you
if you face this question. Many of
these ideas are taken from Patrick Kavanaugh’s book “Raising Musical Kids”
(available on
Amazon.com): Parents must lead
the way. Studying
music will sometimes require hard work.
Children will sometimes refuse such hard work unless their parents
require it. Therefore, parents must
insist on this hard work if music is to be effectually learned. Of course, parents should always be
sensitive to their child and his needs, but parents (and teachers) have the
long view. They understand the
long-term benefits of studying music and must not abdicate their duty to
guide their children in areas of education and special interest. Parents must
discriminate between good reasons and bad.
Negative reasons are never a good reason for
discontinuing lessons. Negative
reasons usually center around the fact that all humans - particularly
children – will complain about situations that don’t bring immediate
gratification. They want to quit
because they’re tired of all the work, or they’re discouraged because of slow
results, or they’re being hassled by their friends. But good reasons do
exist. One very good reason is if your
child is strongly gifted in a specific area and it is necessary to
concentrate on that area. If Susie is
great in track and field, then maybe she should re-direct her focus. However, if your child’s reason is based on
sheer laziness, a parent should always hang in and continue the lessons. The junior high
years are the most challenging. During
these years, music lessons are often the unfortunate casualties to all the
changes which these teenagers are experiencing. Young people at this age are much more
peer-related, social encounters with the opposite sex suddenly have new
dimensions and all kinds of physical changes are taking place. In addition, younger teenagers have a new
argumentative nature. They question
and challenge everything. Teachers
can tailor lessons to fit this age group by asking for more input in
selection of music, using more improvisation or emphasizing sight reading or
composition. Music
lessons should cease only after significant discussions with your child and
thoughtful consideration on your part. Don’t forget the
teacher. Most
teachers truly want to do what is best for their students. It is important to speak with your teacher
about the situation and give what he says serious consideration. · It is possible to
exit gracefully by ending at a customary stopping point such as the end of
the semester. |